reflection

it’s been a year.
& w/ how busy it is around the holidays… it’s hard to find time to reflect.
especially after a car accident that happens days before the year ends & a new one begins.

yep.
car accident.
neither one of us have been in an accident in 5+ years & here we are…
1 month into having a brand new vehicle for our family…
& boom [literally]…
we got hit.

we were heading to meet his family for a late dinner on wednesday night [12/28] & w/ traffic the way it was…
our gps was having us turn onto a back road to get to the restaurant.
we’re around the disney area so you know how that looks..
we instantly want a short cut.

we’re in the traffic line w/ those who are waiting for the light & it’s only 1 lane going both ways.

the lane we’re in is curved to the right where you can’t see but only a few cars ahead of you.
which also means you can’t see oncoming traffic.

but w/ patience we realized we were clear…
until we weren’t.

a car must have been the 1st one to get the green light coming from the opposite direction bc they were the 1st car to be seen w/ in minutes…
& w/ in .5 seconds, they hit us as we were turning left.

they had time to slam on their breaks…
skid & swerve.

the front right side of their car hit the right side of ours.

as you can see in the pictures, the majority of the impact was to our tire well.
which saved a lot of what i don’t want to even imagine.

i was in the passenger seat but had just turned around to lurayna [sitting behind drivers seat] to help her take her sock off that she was fussing about [#toddlers]…
& then i hear honks…
spin around immediately…
see headlights coming at me…
& the car jolts.

as everyone says who’s been in a car accident…
“it happened so fast.”

they came out of nowhere.

they were flooring it since there wasn’t a car in front of them.

& they hit us.

jonny immediately checks on us girls…
i say i’m ok…
i check myself…
i’m already in pain but not bleeding & completely coherent.
i unbuckle my seatbelt & kneel to on my seat to reach the girls…

they’re not even crying [which makes me cry just thinking about it]…
they’re completely fine.

lurayna is scared…
you can see it in her face.
she doesn’t know what just happened & her mommy is crying & hyperventilating.

anderlee had been asleep & the hit woke her up.
but she was completely fine.

thank GOD.
thank GOD.

i turned back around & call 911 while jonny tries to get us out of the road.

the accident happened right in front of the crossroad of the street we were trying to turn down so i knew exactly where to tell them we were.

while on the phone w/ 911, the driver of the other vehicle comes up jonny’s window & starts cussing him out…
“i can’t believe you fucking did this to me, man!”
“how could you put your family in danger like this?!”
“you’re an idiot! how could you do this to your kids?!”

we role up the window & say nothing.
i was so proud of how cool & calm he was bc i was NOT OK.

i had a full blown panic attack after I got off the phone.
it’s like I had my shit together to talk real talk & then when the phone call ended & the ppl who needed to know where we were & how we were were done taking notes…
i fell apart.

i couldn’t believe this.

days before the hardest year of my life ends…
days after just getting the family vehicle we had saved for months for & driven 1 car for months for…
4 minutes away from the restaurant we’re meeting his family at after they had just driven 14 hrs to see us…
2 months after we just put a car seat on that side of the vehicle…

it was just all unbelievable.

& not only is jonny completely devastated that he was the one driving…
now he has the other driver [who was fine as well] spewing terrible things at him in front of myself & his kids…

it was a nightmare.

the witnesses & close traffic around us all got out to try & help get us off the roads but we couldn’t budge.
our tire was completely off track & gone.
theirs was totaled, for sure.

once OCPD & the paramedics got there, they checked on us.
& once they saw we were all ok, they started sweeping the road so traffic could start again.

bc we were on 1 lane, i’m sure ppl were getting pissed.
but whatever.

thankfully, like i said above…
our fam was at a restaurant literally minutes away.

my SIL came & picked the girls & i up & took us home once we could leave.
jonny had to stay back for the police.

no citation was made.
we have mixed feelings about this…
but anyway.

once the cops & the paramedics left…
the driver of the other vehicle & his buddies started saying shit again to jonny…
“I’m gunna come over there & kick your fuckin’ ass!” & etc.

jonny called his brother & BIL [@ the restaurant] & they came ASAP.
insurance information was changed.
& everyone was fine.

again…
THANK GOD.

i don’t need my car totaled AND my husband jumped.

turns out the other driver was borrowing the car…
we think this dude was like mayyyybe 21…
but again…
anyway…

the most important thing is that we are ok.
we’re fine.
besides my bruises…
literally everyone is ok.

we went to the chiropractor yesterday & got examined.
bc i was twisted towards the back when the impact happened…
i have some pretty decent rough patches to work through…
butttttt thankfully jonny & lulu only had a little inflammation & andee is absolutely perfect. 🙂

THANK GOD.

i titled this “reflection” & not “car accident” bc…
1) i don’t care about “click bait” &
2) the beginning of this year made us reflect after losing my dad & then all of sudden god thought we needed another experience to have us reflect before the year ended? [assumption as of now]

stuff can be replaced.
the van will be fine.
it was towed to toyota where they can work on it immediately.

our car insurance is the shit & is taking care of us.

we already have a rental & it’s an upgraded version of our van.
[however, it’s maroon & i hate red cars but my reasons are irrelevant & unimportant.]

& we are… all… ok.

this year has been so hard.

so so hard.

between losing my dad…
my best friend.
my personal accompanist…
my sarcastic comedian…
my biggest supporter…
my daddyo…

to getting pregnant again & having a tough, florida summer pregnancy…

to having another baby & it coming w/ identity challenges about careers & next steps…

to struggling w/ body dysmorphia again & finding grace…

to working on new relationship dynamics w/ my sister & mom…

to working through new challenges w/ my husband…

to parenting 2 children under 2…

to getting into a car accident before we even have our 1st payment on it…

the list can continue…
& prove that this year was really really hard.

but as i reflect…
the reminder i have is that we’re all ok…
that things could be worse…
they can always be worse…
but they always have lessons…

lessons that we survive…
lessons that we deal…
lessons that prove we make it through…
lessons that make for good stories & lessons for someone else…
lessons that god has us & that he is good.

if you take anything out of this week… take out this…

regardless of how you rang in the new year…
I hope you take time to reflect on lessons & experiences from the past one…
& apply it to make the new one the best it can be.

yes… some things are out of our hands…
lots of things in life we can’t control…
but many we can…
& one of them is our outlook…

& while we need to feel our feelings…
be “in them”…
we have to continue.
we have to move forward.

bc as this new year proves…
time keeps going.
& new years keep happening.

love ya’ll.
happy 2023.