the simple things

the holidays are among us & w/ the anxiety of this year, i assume some out there are even more anxious than the holiday hustle & bustle norm.

or…
bc some aren’t hosting as much or as many bc of the pandemic, maybe there isn’t as much to “hustle & bustle” (which i know is causing other emotions too)…

jonny & i decided last minute to drive up to illinois for thanksgiving this year to spend it w/ his family.
some of them had come down just a few weeks ago for my shower, however, bc he was sick, he wasn’t able to see or spend time w/ them.

i received my mom & dad’s blessing to travel up here (that was important to me as we are the only family in orlando & always spend it together) & we felt it was safer & much less expensive to drive.

so! after we tested negative of covid…
we packed up the car & the pup…
& took the 15 hr trip!

(& i gotta pat myself on the back… i didn’t have to pee as a 3rd trimester, pregnant, mom-to-be as much as i thought i was going to have to! ha!)

(theo was v excited)

we got here & i don’t know if it was that:
* we made it safely
* it was 42 degrees instead of 82
* i finally could stretch my body
* big, bear hugs given to family
* or we simply had nothing planned for the rest of the week…

but…
the amount of weight off my shoulders was incomparable.
it’s like we were supposed to do this but didn’t know we were supposed to until like… last week.

w/ my dad in the hospital off & on the past 2 months…
my mom stressed about hosting the shower…
the pandemic numbers climbing again…
my body getting bigger & heavier…
we just didn’t know if we’d be able to see family before the baby comes…

but the opportunity presented itself & we took it.
but i wanted simple.
i want simple these days…
anyone else?

i’m appreciating simplicity so much more than ever…
i’m trying to keep a minimalistic life as much as possible…
i’m attempting to focus on the important stuff that make a difference instead of the assumptions & expectations i’ve always had.

we took a walk at a nature reserve yesterday & that’s all we did.
fresh air.
beautiful sunshine.
naked trees.
fall leaves.
natural trails.
crisp temperature.

• 

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(we didn’t spend a dime & had the best time.)

(i mean look at this happy pup!)

& then alllllll the snuggles happened.

(like… are you kidding me?!)

i’m only 4.5 hrs away from my family on the farm & vineyard…
only 2.5 hrs away from one of my best friends of 14 years…
but the more we tried to plan to fit everything in & see everyone we could possible in this short time, the more stressed & pressured we felt.
there is too much expectation that we just put on ourselves!

immediately i was in my head w/:
“well are the family members we don’t see going to be upset that we didn’t prioritize them too?”
& i just to check myself.
1) we’re in the middle of a pandemic & the state of IL literally just went back into phase 1.
2) we’re barely here for 5 full days.
3) we just drove 15.5 hrs straight! my body can’t handle anymore time on the road in the next few days.

needless to say…
i got over it & am really enjoying doing nothing while cuddled up w/ the pup.
i know we won’t have many quiet, “boring”, nap-filled moments in the next 2 months.

regardless of what your holidays look like this year, i just wanted to encourage you to enjoy & take out the “simple”.

simple togetherness w/ whoever you’re quarantined w/…
simple meals that don’t stress you out…
simple gifts purchased & given that don’t break the bank…
simple conversations that don’t bring up awkward or joy sucking topics…
simple plans that don’t make anyone you care about uncomfortable…
simple expectations that don’t compare previous years to this one…
simple appreciation for the simple things.

while this is my goal this year, i’d love to hear how you’re keeping things simple & joyous during this crazy 2020.
how are you “holiday-ing”?

ps- if you’re looking for pcos friendly recipes for thanksgiving, here are some of my favorites!

green bean casserole

sweet potato casserole

sauteed mushrooms

days of gratitude
11/18:

i was thankful for “thanksgiving” w/ my parents. we were able to drive down, cook, hang out, help decorate for christmas & eat w/ my mom & dad. i was so thankful my dad was home & as healthy as he could be in order to enjoy family time. it was a beautiful day to keep the doors open & let some fresh air in too.

11/19:

i was thankful for impromptu framily time. a text was sent & 4 hrs later, we were all at one of my fav, local live music-bacon basket-martini drinking places! it was so necessary for our souls & spirits!

11/20:

i was thankful for a surprise mini baby shower from our band fans inbetween sets at a show! it was so unexpected but so appreciated! a group of friends have been following the band for years & have welcomed jonny & i into the family w/ no questions. they gifted us so many goodies & we are so thankful.

11/21:

i was thankful for being brought onto the production team at work for our holiday offerings! now that i’m officially not in show, i’m super grateful i’m part of the team i had the opportunity to be part of these past 3 years.
(ps- if you’re in orlando for the holidays, stop by universal orlando to see the festivities!)

11/22:

i was thankful we made it safely to illinois! while my body was (kinda still is) super sore from sitting & sleeping in an SUV, almost 31 weeks pregnant, i’m so grateful we are safe & sound.
(huge shoutout to the hubs for driving 10 out of the 15 hrs!)

11/23:

i was thankful for our nature preserve walk, like i mentioned above. but the highlight, single moment, was dinner at my sister & brother-in-laws w/ games that night. story time at the dinner table, homemade shrimp & chicken alfredo, & lots of laughs. + my sweet niece’s place settings.

11/24:

i am thankful for lazy days. the laziest of days is being had today. it’s dreary outside… & the perfect day to just do nothing. i’m grateful we can do just that.

preggo cravings w/ pcos

so i took my glucose test yesterday
& it got me thinking…

the question i get most often besides:
“when are you due?” &
“what are you having?”
is…
“do you have to be as strict on your diet now that you’re pregnant?”
(of course this question comes from those who know my story/history)

the answer is complicated bc we can get our info from all sorts of places, right?
but my doctor says it best:
now that my hormones are balanced, everything in moderation is ok.

but if we’re being honest…
this year hasn’t been one to show up in our lives to exemplify “moderation”.
it’s kinda been the year of “when it rains, it pours”.
however, that was last year for me.

& if i’m continuing to be honest,
i haven’t been eating in moderation as of lately at all.
i’ve given into my cravings.
i’ve given into eating whatever is available instead of trying to plan ahead.
i’m talking myself into things & justifying everything.
seriously – don’t get me started on the halloween candy i inhaled.

i also know that certain cravings we have, pregnant or not, can be healthy.
sometimes our body craves something bc it’s lacking in whatever the contents of that item may be.

aka – i craaaaave water.
maybe it’s bc i live in florida & it’s above 85 degrees on a daily basis, but also… i don’t mistake that for coffee, tea, soda, etc….
i literally drink SO MUCH water.

but lately?
i want ginger ale, or orange fanta.
aka – all the sugar.
my justification:
“at least there’s no caffeine.”

does my body need it?
nope.
do i give in?
these days, most of the time.

i had to check myself a few days ago though.
knowing my glucose test was coming up, i got nervous & started talking down to myself.
i knew i hadn’t been “good”.
i knew i hadn’t been eating well – or at least what i was used to.
but i wasn’t eating “bad” either.
just not the best.
& our bodies deserve the best. especially when they’re in charge of making a new one!
& especially after i’ve done so much for it in order to make a new one!

so…
for about 4 days, i cut out gluten & sugar again.

‘m more susceptible to failing this glucose test & having gestational diabetes bc of my pcos.
hormones can get “unbalanced” even if they’re balanced to begin w/.
+ my mom also told me she failed her glucose testing all 3 times w/ us kiddos.
awesome.

SOOOOO w/ all that said, we’ll see how it goes.
i should get my results within the week.
send all the positive juju!

selfishly…
i really want to pass this test bc the holidays are coming up & i’d reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally like not to be:
1) on medication
2) taking my blood sugar everyday

we’ve made it this far with a “perfect pregnancy”.
God’s good all the time & i have to have faith that my imperfections aren’t the worse case scenario.

speaking of the holidays, eating/drinking what we crave & this past year being a doozy for most…
i started thinking about what i’ve been craving other than just in a food aspect.

i want to fill my cup w/ whatever is good for me…
whatever is going to bring me joy…
whatever is going to fill me up…
whatever is going to benefit me in the long run.

as cheesy or cliche as it sounds, it struck a chord.

this year has taught us a lot…
how time is precious…
how those who stand by you during the tough times are your ppl…
how our work & passion is so important…

so the epiphany i’ve had this week again…
of needing to prioritize the good in my life & body…
was so necessary.

there are many things we have control over.
what we fill ourselves up w/ is one of them.
take out whatever you see fit in this.

don’t get me wrong…
indulge in the pumpkin or pecan pie this thanksgiving…
have the 2nd helping of sweet potato casserole…
but keep yourself accountable knowing how you need to be in order to feel good.

& that goes for who you keep around/listen to or what you read.
example: i have a friend who decided to keep thanksgiving small & quaint this year w/ just her immediate family…
& not just bc of the pandemic/virus…
but bc she knew that w/ their family members having very different political views, it’d be best to not tempt the holiday w/ unwanted awkwardness or disrespect due the recent election.

now some may find that extreme, but hey…
to each their own.
she knows her family better than anyone else!

anyway…
do you.
take care of you.
i’ll be over here drinking my water, speaking to myself nicely, & doing my best.

days of gratitude
11/11:

i was thankful for the physical ability to exercise & get back to the gym.
i had been so in a slump from being sick that feeling the energy kick start in my body again felt like the new “new” i needed.

11/12:

i was thankful for my chiropractor & adjustment! i NEEDED it. this body of mind is growing quickly & expanding my hips like no one’s business. the relief i felt was real. he also reminded me of the sugar & flour intake affecting my glucose…

11/13:

i was thankful for the time i had to take a nap. i had the day off but my allergies were kicking my butt. my eyes were exhausted, puffy & watery. the sneezing kept me up the night before. a nap was necessary before my gig! i felt like a new person.

11/14:

i was thankful for my husbands’ health! he was feeling better & good enough to my gig that night. i have a completely different energy knowing the audience members at my show, but when it’s my energetic, fun spirited, social butterfly hubby… i just makes me happy.

11/15:

i was thankful for unexpected support. new friends came to see my show, my cousin & old friend of mine gifted me a BUNCH of maternity clothes & baby toys, AND i got to see my parents – BOTH of them! + mom & dad finally got to see the new bathroom jonny renovated AND the nursery (not done yet, but they got a peak). it was a chill night of good news & chinese food. 🙂

11/16:

i was thankful for a chill day at home. we needed it after such a busy weekend. i had my doctors appointment & then i got to organize the baby room, put away laundry & just heat up leftovers. it was perfect, chill day.

11/17:

i was thankful for work today. i was officially taken out of the show i perform in full time bc i’m too big for the costume! however, w/ everything being so up in the air w/ jobs/work/etc., i am so much more grateful for still having a place to be & earn a living at.

not today satan

expectations.
why couldn’t we have had a hint in january that we just shouldn’t have them this year?
(i literally just lol’d at how ironic this year has ACTUALLY been.)

back in august, my mom & i set a date for the baby shower.
nov 8.
my mother-in-law & sis-in-law penciled it in & started planning.
they included jonny’s cousin too, as a surprise for her 40th birthday!
by september, 8 members from jonathan’s family were coming down to celebrate this baby girl of ours… SO exciting!

mom had blocked out time to get the house cleaned.
she had scheduled another surgery for my dad AFTERwards.
she sketched out a simple menu.
we hired my best friend from hs to sketch & create the invites.
they were sent out.
the registry was (kinda) finished.

in other words… things were moving forward.
even in the middle of this pandemic…
we were limiting everything to a max of 20 people invited & whoever didn’t feel comfortable, we set up a drive-by an hour before so i could still wave to everyone & thank them!

2 weeks ago, i got really sick.
last week, jonathan got really sick… the night before his family was to fly in.
with this said, we told the potential guests & some didn’t feel comfortable coming anymore (completely fine) but now we were thinking:
* should we not have this shower at all?
* save the decorations, the set up, the cost on food, cupcakes, etc… for another time?
* just do a drive-by instead?
* have his family just have their own vacation & we’ll just make phone calls to everyone to cancel until further notice?

after getting our facts right from doctors, our family decided to go w/ the original plans, even w/ most guests being on the fence about coming.

& THEN…
the night before…
my mom rushed my dad to the ER bc of excruciating pain & enormous swelling in his left leg.
turns out he had a 3 ft long blood clot.

needless to say, i was ready to cancel this whole thing.

my mom & i were emotionally spent.
jonny is sick at home.
+ i didn’t think anyone was going to come to this shower anyway.
i was ready to cancel it.

but after talking it over w/ my sweet husband & family…
& bc i was safe & my dad was being taken care of…
they insisted we still shower little miss lulu & have whatever it would be.

as my mom has always said too:
it’s not about the quantity, but the quality.

& the fact of the matter was:
my family flew down from illinois to throw this for me! they planned so much & spent so much time & money to make this happen…
even if it was just us 7, that’d be well worth it.

family in charge of throwing this beautiful day!

well… my family is amazing & it was a wonderful day.
it even rained during the drive-by portion, but i didn’t care. haha.
the day/night was better than i could have expected it to be.

i saw dear friends that drove close to an hour & a half just to drop off gifts & take socially distant photos w/ me.

other friends drove about that far to be the only one from our “crew” to represent them all.

it was overwhelming in the best way.

not only did we get to celebrate our little bundle, but i got to see my mom have a really great time… in the midst of the stress she’s been under w/ my dad & our family.
THAT was a gift in itself.

here are some highlights from the on, off, on, off, & on again event. 😉

details:

friends who are family that made my day:

& then fun gifts photos i find hilarious or cute:

out of all the things that happened leading up to that day…
i’m thankful we were able to have it,
i got to spend time w/ those i loved,
our little girl was shown love she doesn’t even know about yet
& we could exchange some laughs, smiles & photos to capture the moments.

(lurayna may is so loved & we are so thankful for these gifts from loved ones!)

we’re praying daddy comes home from the hospital soon…
but know he’s there bc he needs to be & it’s best for him to be there.

my husband is getting better & those are also answered prayers.

we have a new president…
& FIRST EVER FEMALE VP.
(which is a whole other conversation we can have if you want. i’m HERE to celebrate that for sure!)

& yknow what…
the life lesson & what i take out of this week is:
there are things that matter & things that don’t.

& the family & friends that want to show you that you matter… will show up somehow & some way.
rain or shine.

days of gratitude
11/4:

i was thankful for results.
after a week of being sick, we got the final consensus for me & it was a step in the right direction.
however, jonny was now sick.
but we had results that allowed us to plan the way we needed to.
it all sucked, but it was necessary.

11/5:

i was thankful for health professionals.
with their expertise & efficiency efforts, we were able to get our facts & correct rumors in order to best communicate with my family.
this gave us relief & hope!

11/6:

i was thankful for safe travels for our family!
jonny’s mom, sister, brother in law, nieces, nephew, & cousins flew down from illinois to be here for the shower!
they got in safe & sound & i got to sit & chat for some quality time.

11/7:

i was thankful for a night full of music & family!
my mom & her neighbors + my entire out of state family got to come out & listen/watch my band at a local park!
after all the stress i explained above, it was a night we all needed!
just to dance & sing along to some live music!
there is nothing like the joy i feel when i see familiar faces of those i love in the audience while i get to do what i love!

(the illinois clan!)

(my beautiful mama & mother-in-law!)

11/8:

i was thankful for my shower… not just the decor, food, etc…
but the people that made it what it was!
my mom, mother in law & sister in law went above & beyond to make it happen in the midst of all the craziness.
my nieces were a huge help with gifts.
my hairdresser of 30 years (no joke) helped my mom out so much in the kitchen & made an amazing flower bouquet & diaper cake.
my mom’s best friends of over 20 years came with gifts, advice & another beautiful diaper cake!
my friends of 12+ yrs, from my traveling tradeshow world, came & helped immensely with organizing items & taking photos.
my beautiful friend of 12 yrs, from my country radio days, drove an hour & a half to be there in support of all the things.
& then of course the drive-by gifts, smiles & waves!

we said: NOT TODAY SATAN & it was a beautiful day!

11/9:

thankful i got to go back to work for my last week in show!
diagon alley has been my home for 6 years & it’s crazy to think i won’t be on that stage until at least march 2021!
it was a rainy day, but it was a day full of laughs, all the bagels, stories, & girl talk.

11/10:

today i am thankful for ppl getting back to me!
i know that sounds dumb, but i left 3 voicemails yesterday for 3 different appointments & they ALL got back to me today!
it makes life easier when we can communicate, huh?

i hope ya’ll had a good week… as good as it could have been.

take out the positive news of the week… & just roll with it.

distraction

i’m not saying to pretend it’s not happening… bc we all know it is…
& not just americans…
the entire world will be watching us tonight.

election day.

& just like 4 years ago…
this is a BIG ONE.

i hope you voted if you’re reading this.
like reeeeeally hope you did.
IF YOU HAVEN’T THEYRE IS STILL TIME.
(how subtle am i?)

the hubs & i sent our ballots off via mail about a month ago & it felt so gooooooooood.

i know we’re all having to talk to ourselves about how we need to be after the results are in:
– ok, just bc he won, doesn’t mean it’s for forever.
– ok, just bc that party is now basically in power, doesn’t mean i have an excuse to be an asshole.
– ok, just bc the results are what they are, doesn’t mean i stop fighting for what i believe in.

the list & conversations with ourselves go on.

what did you do today to pass the time?
what are you planning to do tonight to pass the time by?
are you looking for distractions?
what if distractions are gratifications?

i mean, as cliche as it is…
it IS november now; the month of thanksgiving.
& regardless if you celebrate it or not…
celebrating thankfulness & gratitude is a nice habit to get into, yeah?

a friend of mine started “a month of gratitude” & i figured i’d join.
so each week i’m going to include my 7 days.

tonight, i’ll start my 3:

11/1:

thankful for tears.
i know that sounds ridiculous.
but whether they’re happy or sad, angry or stressed tears…
what a release they gives us.
& i needed them on sunday.
i’ve been sick for a week & i’ve become so frustrated w/ feeling useless while i have to stay home & rest.
i tried to help around the house & just got winded, dizzy & had to give up.
i tried to sit outside & get some fresh air but the humidity made me get clammy & feel feverish.
i just needed to cry.
so i did.
& i felt so much better after that!
splashed some water on my face, & boom.
fresh start.

11/2:

thankful for the beautiful weather we FINALLY got in this “florida fall”.
the high was 70, ya’ll.
waking up at 8a, it was like 58.
this is winter.
& it made me feel like a human.
it generated energy!
i know i am getting better, but also i think the weather helped me feel a bit normal.
i put away halloween decor, put up reg fall decor, dusted, vacuumed, organized the patio, repotted some plants, swept back patio…

(thank you homegoods & zgallerie for the decor!)

but my fav project was this:

(i had dried our little boys’ bouquets on our patio. they were hanging from twine & were pretty where they were, but the wind & weather were starting to take them, petal by petal. bc of their fragility, i brought them inside & put them in mason jars above our china cabinet. i love them there. such a focal point.)

it was just refreshing to have crisp air & the energy to enjoy it.

11/3:

thankful for our puppy, theodore martin!
it’s his birthday week & he was the snuggliest this morning while we had our morning coffee. i mean look at this goober.

(listening or waiting to feel lurayna may?)

(just the SNUGGLIEST I SAY)

he’s going to be 2 on saturday (11/7)!
it’s crazy how much we need pet companions.
i know we always say it, but i can’t imagine our life without him!
here are some of my fav shots of him that we’ve taken the past 2 years…
hopefully these can be a nice distraction for you.

& if you need more of a distraction… send me your pet pictures!! 🙂

whatever the outcome tonight, please take out something from this & promise me (or just yourself) to:

• have patience w/ others.
• do what you need to do to keep sanity (if you need to disconnect from social media for 24 hrs to ignore the ignorance & pride of the other side, do it).
• have a glass of whiskey or wine for me.
• stop & think about what you were thankful for today (even if it’s that you could breathe).
• remember, the next couple of days will be emotional on all fronts… give yourself & others some grace. think before you act.
• & pray, send positive vibes, good juju… whatever ya got… to that house painted white in D.C., bc good lord they’re gunna need it.

love ya’ll.