it’s taken awhile to decompress from our trip.
we got back 3 weeks ago.
but a lot has happened in our world & this country in the last couple weeks.
my headspace was everywhere & the pity parties were real.
but i’m here now.
reflecting.
& to share that colorado was tough.
tougher than i expected it to be.
i think i say that only bc things were so fast paced…
truly a whirlwind in january.
this time…
we had time.
we had time to spend w/ family & talk about memories.
we had time to visit where he had been wanting to visit since 2016.
we had time to contemplate our feelings… either writing them out or sharing them around the campfire.
we had time to do the things he would have loved to do.
& yes, he was there.
he was so very present…
but you know it’s different.
it was tough.
but beautiful.
so thankful for that time.
so thankful for those that took theirs & spent it w/ us.
it’s not easy getting to the ranch in del norte.
it’s a solid 4 hour drive from the denver airport.
but a gorgeous one!
[to drive through the rocky mountains is something you should do in your lifetime, btw.]
i’m going to share a bunch of pictures instead of a write a bunch for this blog.
i’ll explain what things are or who ppl are for my memories sake, but come along for the ride if you’d like. 🙂
i pulled in & was immediately emotional.
bc i was at work in san fran the week before, i hadn’t seen lulu…
+ i had been in business mode… my mindset has been completely different prior to arriving & then it was like a blanket was torn off my head & the tears just started.
i walked up to my aunt & uncles house & it’s like she knew!
reunited & it felt so good.
jonny was on a cattle drive w/ the fam so i soaked up baby girl time.
once he got back, most family had arrived & we were gearing up for burgers from the ranch & africa (yes, for real) & a more yummy food.
the next morning we got up & ready for the service.
many members of family & friends started arriving if they hadn’t already.
the service started at 4p.
we had it video taped, thanks to our best friend chase, & headed over to his plot where his brother had a bench made out of the pine that grew on family property in la garita.
the service was beautiful.
many spoke about their favorite memories of daddy…
friends from high school…
his sister in law…
the wife of his first employer & our very dear friend…
my sister…
we sang to my sisters acoustic “rocky mountain high”…
& cried lots of tears.
we concluded the service w/ fajita stir fry, charcuterie, & another fire pit jam session.
the next day we said some goodbyes & laid low.
the gals played cards while some of the guys went & shot some golf balls [& then had to find them haha].
it was a nice, chill day.
our last morning, we got to visit the horses next door.
this mama was excited!
here are some other random photos from a beautiful stay.
we headed back to denver for the rest of the week.
we had plans to visit friends in colorado springs & downtown which had to be cancelled due to our little chickpea getting sick.
we’re still not sure what it was, but she got sick 2 different times while drinking her milk in the car…
so at first we thought it was motion sickness…
but then jonny got a stomach bug of some sort that made us delay our flights…
& then IIIIII got sick a few days later w/ the same type of thing…
so we’re not sure what happened.
we all tested negative for covid multiple days in a row & all feel completely fine now (even did 24 hours later).
however… then lulu got an ear infection.
SO thankful she didn’t have that on our flight home or even on our drive down the mountains.
anyway…
we’re thankful for our time on the ranch…
w/ family & friends…
making new memories & remembering old ones.
it’s hard to imagine life in colorado w/o my dad.
that was his home.
he is the reason why i love that state so much.
his family is the reason we got to visit so much growing up.
i’m so thankful we’re close w/ our extended family there.
his brother is basically like my dad’s younger twin & my aunt jodi, his wife, is one of my mom’s best friends & who we can call & talk to about absolutely anything.
keeping these relationships are important.
continuing to visit is important.
how have you handled death in your family?
did it draw you closer to one another or do the opposite?
do you find it hard to visit places you only used to go to w/ them or do you find it comforting?
family functions will never be the same.
visits to those places will never be the same…
i mean… it was just hard going to disney in april, let alone his home state in june.
[haven’t been to magic kingdom yet…]
i know grief will come in waves.
it hit me like a ton of bricks on fathers day.
& honestly, i don’t even want to get into that.
but like i said… it comes & goes.
& i know that’s normal.
which at times makes me feel crazy…
1 day i’m so sad that watching anyone else on social media or at work be happy about anything is maddening…
& then the next, i’m posting about my kid, my dog, my hair, my work, or a random sale at tjmaxx…
it’s crazy.
i don’t know what you can take out of this this week, since it’s just about my family & i…
but please reach out if i can help do anything or be anyone for you.
community is important & i’m thankful for mine.
Take Out with TK 