did you know morton salt advertisers came up w/ that?
the saying we say when shitty things continue happening to us came from a salt advertisement in the early 1900’s.
yep.
irrelevant to what i thought it really meant.
but it fits.
life lately isn’t about salt… even tho i guess i’m a BIT salty about it?…
i can’t help but have a pity party.
& i was doing so good.
things were on the up & up.
it was easy to find the positive in every day.
my body was getting into shape.
i went back to work w/ more physical ease than i thought i would.
i was going to the gym 2-3x a week.
i was going to the chiro 1-2x a week after the accident & massage therapy every other week.
& now this…
on monday, on my way to a gig at the villages…
literally 2 min away from parking…
i got into another car accident.
haven’t been in a car accident in a decade & i’m in 2 in 2 months…
w/ 1 of them totaling the vehicle we had just purchased 2 months before that!
what is happening??
i’m in the left lane of a roundabout w/ the option to go straight or take it to the left…
the other driver was in the right lane of said roundabout w/ the ONLY option to go straight…
guess what they did?
tried to go left.
& they hit me.
TWO MINUTES AWAY FROM WORK.
smh.
i immediately saw we were fine.
called 911 & they were dispatched & to us w/ in 4 minutes.
they were given a citation as they were at fault.
i went to my gig & was only 20 min late to my 1st set.
[yes, i still went… bc i’m a fucking professional.]
i tried to get out of my head during the gig & succeeded a bit thanks to our audience, my band & the way music heals.
i took back roads home bc my bumper is screwed up & wasn’t sure if going 70mph on the highway was a good idea… especially in the dark.
i cried when i got home & just broke down. went to bed right away & just wanted to start a new one.
i went to work on tuesday & tweaked my right knee in show during our 2nd number of our 2nd show.
i iced it.
i elevated it.
did my 3rd show & it didn’t feel good at all…
went home & continued to ice/elevate.
the next day, did the same thing.
ice.
elevate.
yesterday, i felt good enough for shows.
stretched. warmed up. did the things i was told to do…
the end of the last number of our first show…
i thought my knee was going to give out.
that pain was literally knee buckling.
i finished the show, exited & burst into tears as soon as i got off stage.
besides the pain, i’m frustrated.
so so frustrated.
thankfully, my cast & management was absolutely amazing… lauren helped me down the stairs while also calming me down in the amazing way she can… madi helped me put away my costume… brett assured me everything was going to be fine… & erin carted me over to workmen’s comp.
i’m grateful for that support in that moment.
but… why is this happening?
after everything else that has happened in just the past year?
i started 2022 having my dad pass & ended it w/ a car accident that totaled our vehicle that we had just gotten…
this year, we started it by having to put down our family dog of 16 years & just 2 weeks later i’m in another car accident AND i injure my knee out of nowhere?
& while i’m hobbling around, i’m trying to get ahold of 2 different car insurance companies to file ANOTHER claim…
schedule a doctor appt to get my knee checked out…
schedule my chiropractor appt’s for my 2nd post accident back & neck feels…
& figure out how the hell i’m going to parent a toddler & baby…
& continue singing in my band without dancing…
it’s just a lot to deal w/.
yes, i know things can be worse.
i know i’m fortunate to have car insurance, health insurance & workmen’s comp to help navigate all these challenges… but it’s just one thing after another these days & gosh i’m tired.
i try not to “list” things happening bc it then gets really heavy… like all these heavy things have happened one right after the other.
i know it’s life.
but i’m allowed to not be ok.
i’m allowed to feel overwhelmed, disappointed & frustrated at life even when i have 1,000,000 blessings [i used to think otherwise]…
i’m allowed to believe that, yes, “this too shall pass” but until it does… it really sucks.
you’re all allowed to too.
if you take out anything from this post, please, for the love, know you can vent… in a blog… in a post… to me… to your trustworthy sources… to whoever… vent regardless of how #blessed you are.
& ppl are going to give you advice & even discount your feels… just point your ear the other way. you get to feel however you do, whenever you do.
& when you’re in those feels… don’t hurt yourself… don’t hurt someone else… & don’t stay there.
but feel them.
cry. scream. sing. run. jump. take a long shower. take a nap. go to a coffee shop & sit in silence. read a book. cook comfort food. have sex. watch friends reruns or have a harry potter marathon… these are all my go to’s.
take ‘em or leave ‘em.
i truly hope all of you are having a better week/year than i personally am.
i’m manifesting wonderful things this year… saving $$ for trips my hubby & i deserve… looking forward to seeing family members on the farm & vineyard again & honestly… excited to not be pregnant.
i know things will get better… but right now… i’ll take all the baby giggles, puppy kisses, toddler snuggles & hubby hugs i can.
love you.
Take Out with TK 