at the end of a year or the beginning of a new one.
we reflect, right?
hint: “reflection” was my last posts’ title.
& the more i thought about titling this one…
the same word came to mind.
but in a different way.
bc the reflection led to different thoughts of different things.
my dad’s officially been gone a year now.
a whole 365 days.
it’s surreal.
& i hate it.
& the more i thought/think about him…
the more i remember the legacy so many knew him as:
an incredibly talented pianist, a brilliant musician, a hilarious jokester & energetic performer.
he made a living doing what he loved to do.
& that example is so important to me.
& to my sister too.
my “reflection” on him lately has made me look in the mirror…
it’s made me think about the “where do you see yourself in 1… 2… 5… 10 years.
& those thoughts are terrifying, right?
& i honestly try not to think about them bc not only do they freak me the fuck out…
they put an expectation on my time.
not that goals aren’t important.
they are.
& it’s necessary to move forward…
to get better…
to be better.
but if i don’t make “x” happen in that 1… 2… years (etc)…
then did i fail?
no.
but that’s how we sometimes feel, yeah?
transitions are hard.
but needed.
anyway…
it’s only jan 25 of the new year & here’s what i’ve been up to:
personal:
daddy – we weren’t sure what we wanted to do in order to remember him…
everything seemed cliche or just not something we felt was right.
so mom & i went to breakfast the morning of just as we did the morning he passed.
it was weird.
it was hard.
but it was good.
andee was w/ us & that created the blessing that was in disguise the entire mourning time.
we went through photos & video of the time in the hospital in his last days…
some my mom hadn’t seen bc I didn’t want to hurt her more than she already was.
we went through photos of his services…
& remembered all the ppl that were there for us.
our circle is incredible & we couldn’t have dealt w/ everything we had to if it hadn’t been for our ppl.
the amount of family that flew down in only a few days notice…
just…
it’s incredible.
we’re so grateful.
his health brings me to my health…
health – many know i love my orange theory fitness classes…
so after contemplating for a few weeks…
i chose to hop on board my their “transition challenge”.
& it’s been a challenge just to get up & go to the classes (3x a week! i MAYBE went 2)…
in the past…
i don’t take fitness “challenges” or goals lightly.
i’m pretty cut throat.
i go balls to the wall & cut things out cold turkey bc i’ve always had an end game in mind…
a goal for a reason.
an event of some sort…
like a show i’m the lead in…
my wedding…
to get pregnant…
this time…
there’s no “end game”.
i’m only keeping myself accountable to get back into shape to where i feel strong again…
i don’t want to be sore after every hayfire show…
i don’t want to be sore after I wake up in the morning…
etc.
i’m cutting out dairy, gluten, soy & processed sugars again…
just as i did when i was first diagnosed w/ pcos.
HOWEVER…
while my hormones are going crazy w/ postpartum shit…
breastfeeding…
& this lifestyle…
i’m not going to be super strict like i was.
i’m going to have a cupcake at my daughters 2nd birthday…
i’m going to have bbq at a corporate event I’m hired to sing at…
etc.
i’m doing this as a lifestyle.
not until i accomplish an event or “end game”.
it’s what makes me feel good & it’s good for ME.
if you’re looking for a way to feel better…
i can def talk to you about my ways & introduce you to a health coach…
but what is good for me & what works for me doesn’t fit everyone else. 🙂
van – it’s been a nightmare.
from insurance to medical claims…
to chiropractor & massage therapy appointments…
from dealerships to rental cars…
it just has not been fun… at all.
BUT, as you may have saw!…
jonny found a good deal in jacksonville & we went up yesterday & got it!
super easy & so grateful to be DONE.
professional:
universal – i was supposed to be back jan 22…
but bc of the car situation…
i needed another few weeks.
i go back into rehearsals next week & i’m looking forward to working w/ my diagon fam.
hayfire – we played at blake shelton’s place, “ole red”, last weekend & it was truly a core memory that was made.
i cannot begin to tell you how much fun was had AND how much support i am so so overwhelmed to have received.
my community showed UP & it was insane.
some work is proving to pop up bc certain companies from my community of professionals have finally gotten a taste of what we produce & that is really really cool.
the band is GOOD.
really good.
& it’s awesome to see future opportunities present themselves so we can finally level up. 🙂
on top of that excitement…
we’ve been really busy rehearsing (for the 1st time ever) for our newest project: American Honey – A Tribute to Lady A.
our first show is next weekend & tickets are still on sale here! 🙂
i’m so excited to see where this band & these projects go.
feeling good to be surrounded & supported by so much talent.
monat – i’m still representing it!
it’s been wonderful for me & others…
my customers & i are seeing a difference in our hair & skin & that’s what i’m here for.
& whether it’s been an extra check every week or a chance to helps others find solutions for their issues…
or the amazing community of women i work w/…
it’s been pretty great.
i take my 2nd earned trip in april w/ them again!
so i guess i update you all for a few reasons…
- bc i know some ppl are curious & we’re all too busy to have 1:1’s w/ each other.
- bc i have career ideas up my sleeve & in my head that i’m toying w/.
- bc i want to look back at this post & remember when i was in the middle of transitions.
transistions are weird.
i almost always feel them coming…
but i never know what.
it’s the same way right now…
i know something is on the midst of change but I’m seeking clarity & wisdom to figure out the “what”.
i may even seek your help as my readers & friends to see if some of the ideas I have have use!
how do you deal w/ transitions?
reflections?
life changes?
has anything changed thus far this year for you that you saw coming or maybe didn’t?
what i’m taking out of this weeks’ post are these quotes:
“Transitions in life can offer opportunities for discovery.” – Robbie Shell
“When shifts and transitions in life shake you to the core, see that as a sign of greatness that’s about to occur.” – Anonymous
i hope that if you’re going through transitions right now, they are liberating, fun, & something you want.
i’m here if you wanna talk through them… lord knows i wrote a novel to talk through mine!
love you.
Take Out with TK 